Got some negative feedback at work and now you want to cleanse the Earth with their blood? I can help you deal with negative feedback in 4 easy steps.

1- Accept that it will happen

You think you are a hardworking professional. Your efforts garner you accolades, praises and peasants build shrines to your glorious visage. You walk through streets waving at your people for you are a paragon of accomplishment. But wait…

This time around, the client tells you that your work is subpar. That pedophile (probably) is entitled to their opinion, but how could that be? You did everything right? How can they dislike your hard work? Are examples of questions asked by people wallowing in denial.

SO, what do you say to this holocaust denying pedophile (probably)? You say nothing. Like a hardworking pornstar hoping to get paid, you take it on the chin. It’s not a derision of your skills if one holocaust denying 9/11 pedophile (probably) has made their impractical fantasies your problem.

So, if you come across a Ted Bundy admiring holocaust denying 9/11 pedophile (alleged) client, then keep in mind…

2- They might actually have a point

You’re not an immaculate font of godlike talent. To err is human, moreso is to straight up not give a fuck from time to time and just peddle whatever dogshit you concocted between weekend naps. However, if someone catches you peddling said dogshit and expresses disappointment over it, your job is not to wallow in self-pity. It is to accept the failure and come clean.

If they were unpleasant in sharing their disappointment with you, expect that this situation is unlikely to improve and no amount of debating is going to make them say “oh, I see what you mean, I’m wrong, here, let me help you have a threesome with two Kate Uptons” (in this fantasy land, everything is possible). That ship sailed and sank (alongwith pictures of a naked Kate Winslet) and all you can do is accept that it can and has happened.

What you can’t do is try and take some moral high ground, as if you’re in the right. There isn’t a large enough market for dogshit and people objecting to having received it might have a point.

You can, however, write a scathing article about them that upwards of 4 people will read, but you have to accept that you might be the problem.

3- Sometimes it just doesn’t work out

You could be coasting, or you could have poured your heart and soul into a project and still come up short. Sometimes things don’t work out. This is because fate is a gigantic bully that was abused as a child, and now has the a tattoo saying “fuck you” on his forehead, hasn’t eaten all day you just bumped into him.

Sometimes, your best can be both great and insufficient. Perhaps you need to level up, perhaps the client doesn’t know what they’re looking for and will know it when they see it. Could be anything. I’m not even going to make a joke here, it’s frustrating and annoying. You really wish you could get yourself out of this situation because uncertainty breeds confusion, self-doubt and hate. All this leads to the Dark Side and you end up having twins who grow up to kiss each other and evaporate into a Mickey Mouse shaped aether.

4- Start Over

The world is full of people who are full of themselves. You could be one of them and presume to be above it all and act like everyone else is wrong, absolving yourself of all responsibility. Or, you could learn a lesson, make whatever amends are possible and try again. You can’t let one failure define you.

The do-over is the solitary greatest advantage of being human. You learn a painful lesson that you vow to learn from and move on, hoping never to run into another Warmongering-Ted Bundy admiring-holocaust denying-9/11- Trump Supporting pedophile (your words, not mine).